Ugh...Dead beat dads

So the more and more I have to deal with the child support office the more and more frustrated I get and angrier I get with her father. I mean really. The fact that I have to go this route is unbelievable, I mean why can't he just man up and pay some child support. The agreement we could come up with may even be less than what the courts will decide (which I heard was going to be between 600 and 1500 bucks) Look he doesn't do anything else for our daughter, he barely calls her and when he does he speaks to her for like 2 minutes (I'm really not exaggerating I have proof!) also when he does call all he does is make her feel guilty because she doesn't want to go and see him. Do you know he didn't even get her a birthday present or card for her birthday. Our daughter is 11 now and his gift to her was a plane ticket to go and see him?? Doesn't he get it, she didn't want that, she wants a toy or clothes or something not a plane ticket to see her father that she barely knows. Besides he's going to be working, she'd stay with her step-mother who she doesn't even know, I dont think so. I mean I wouldn't let me child go to a strangers house so why would I let her travel 3k miles to visit a stranger? Of course I let this decision be up to her, but she has been insistent in not going. He has vacation coming up in June, if it's so important for him to see her than why isn't he coming down to Cali to see her? Why not use that money for a plane ticket for himself to come and see her. This whole thing is getting ridiculous. Why doesn't he understand that this is not about me or him but about Alyssa's well being. Why can't he just do what's right for her.

A Rave to Me!

Being a single mom is one of the most selfless jobs in the world, especially when you are a full-time single parent. But one of the best things about being a single mom is you are the only one who truly gets to enjoy seeing your daughter grow up to be so beautiful and so full of love. I look at my daughter and all that she has become, and realize that even though she is her own person, a big part of what she has become is due to me and and I'm so proud of her! My daughter has had to overcome many obstacles at such a young age, from moving from CA to CT, from CT to CA, from CA to CT and finally back to CA, she has been to a total of 6 schools in her 10 years of life, and now has a dad that barely speaks to hear with excuses of being overworked, but despite all these obstacles she has still managed to be such a wonderful, beautiful, loving and smart child. Sometimes I'm so busy and so hard on myself that I dont stop to see what a good job I've done! So today I'm giving myself a Rave and a Rave to all the selfless mothers out there who are trying to raise smart, loving, beautiful girls or boys. As for my daughter, well she gets a Rave from me everyday, she is my world, my love, MY little Bug.

Child Support-The System

So I filed for child support (after 2 years-now 3 years- of receiving NO support) in April of last year. I met with an attorney, filed the paperwork, etc. etc.. It's now February and I still have no support. Since my daughter's father is another state it takes longer. I've called every month to get an update and well like everything else, paperwork gets stuck in the system. It took them 3 months to send the paperwork to PA (where he lives). Three months because someone kept forgetting to do it. I'm happy to report that they finally have sent the paperwork to the PA child support enforcement office. Now how long will it take for the PA office to respond, that's a good question. I have high hopes for the PA system, since they are one of the first states to enforce strict penalties for those who do not support their children, they have been doing it since 1950? they not only garnish wages they take away driver's license, professional licenses and will eventually put you in jail if a parent does not pay or abide by the courts orders. A system like this needs to be in a place for every state, and states really need to talk to each other. It's not fair for single parents to take all the financial responsibility of raising a child and it's not fair that it takes so long for states to help that single parent get the support they deserve. Deadbeat Dads & Moms out there need to step up to the plate and be responsible.

Bad Public Schools- Is it the Parents fault?

So I just finished out filling out private school financial aid applications, boy its such a process. Why can't there just be a good public school in my area? I mean really the middle school near my home is not good. The question I have is what are parents doing? Don't they care about their child's education? we should have classes on educating parents? Don't they know these kids are the future? It is so ridiculous to me that parents could'nt give a crap about their child's education. Are they so self-absorbed? Is it that they are drunks or drug addicts? I know people have to work and I work but when it comes to my daughter I will do whatever it takes to make sure she gets the best of everything within my means. I just don't get it. Don't parents know that these public middle schools would not be so bad if every parent took an active interest in their child's education? You can't blame the teachers... It's not their fault. They don't have the resources to teach correctly. They are just babysitters babysitting the kids who are a nuisance in class, they can only hope they teach 4 or 5 in a class of 30, its truly sad. Teachers get no respect and no one cares. Do you realize teachers went thorugh 4+ years of college, to come out making 40k a year? believe me teachers do not teach because of the money, they teach because they like to, and its so hard for them to do their job when you have kids in classrooms who are so disruptive and parents who dont even respect what they do. Pathetic!

Middle School- Private or Parochial?

I live in the Los Angeles Unified School District (one of the worst districts in the US) and my daughter goes to an LAUSD magnet school, which is one of the best schools in the LAUSD district with a total API last year of 863! My daughter will be entering middle school next year and I do not want her going to the LAUSD public middle school, whose total API was 737, so I'm looking into a private or parochial school. Private schools tend to be way too expensive with most being 20k a year (higher than a Cal State Education for 2 years of college). Some private schools give scholarships or grants to help with the tuition for financial hardship. I make good money but I think I would still qualify for some assistance. The problem is most private schools require you to put down the income of both parents, even if the parents are no longer together, and that is not fair considering my daughters fathers provides zero support. A parochial school is much less with tution at about 9k a year, but do i really want nuns teaching my child? I dont really know... but what I do know is that finding a school for her is an extremely stressing process.
The search continues...

Is ME time an option for single parents?

I am a single mom. I work full-time and my place of employment is a 45-minute drive each way. I wonder some days where I find the extra time to do everything I need to do. It is so hard some days. I wake up get my daughter ready, then me ready, drop her off at my sisters (who thankfully does me the favor of driving her to school), then I'm off to work. I work my 8 hours and rush back to pick up my daughter (who hates staying after-school, but sometimes lucky if my mom picks her up) by the time I get home it's 6pm. I like to cook her a fresh dinner and most of the time I do. Cooking dinner can be a long process I'm usually done at 7pm, she eats then I'm off to do laundry or clean-up while managing to help her with her homework. If she has something to do I run off and take her where she needs to go. I'm defintely not complaining, I do what I can, but I do find myself sheltering myself from friends. It's so hard to find the time to get together with them, since I feel there is such little time in my life. So little ME time. Is ME time even an option as a single parent?